Catharsis
by lycanus1
Summary: A confused and traumatised Sigyn struggles to cope with the aftermath of her ordeal while Hogun attempts to comfort and support her in his own unique and silent way. ** The fallout from "How A Heart Breaks" **


_**Disclaimer:**_ Everything recognizable belongs to Norse Myth, Paramount Pictures, Marvel Entertainment & Marvel Studios (gods-damnit !) No copyright infringement is intended.

 **A/N:** this is a re-working of an old story of mine in a different fandom about the aftermath of a sexual assault made by someone who was considered a friend by the victim - if this triggers any bad memories/recollections, please don't read any further.

 _ **XXXXX**_

 _ **Catharsis**_

Sigyn lay with her back to the door, cocooned within thick, dark furs. Craving their warmth and security. The door suddenly opened and she heard various footsteps enter the room. Sighing inwardly, she tensed and shrank beneath the covers, then drew them closer around her body to shield herself from the eyes of her curious, yet well intentioned kin.

"Sigyn ..."

Her heart skipped a beat at the unexpected sound. She couldn't help but recognize the deep, throaty growl. Sigyn hoped, yet dared not believe, that he was finally there. That Hogun was in her chamber. Somehow, she managed to convince herself that her mind was playing tricks on her. Making her imagine things that weren't real. Making her hear voices in her head ... And so she didn't respond. Didn't react when the mattress dipped beneath her or when the voice softly called her name.

"Sigyn ... Sig, look at me."

She ignored the insistent voice. It was just her imagination playing games. Cruel, hurtful ones. This wasn't real ... He wasn't real ... She heard a throat being cleared then, from the corner of her eye, saw a callused hand reach out for her forearm. The one closest to her head.

"Sigyn ... you need to look at me ..."

Sigyn gasped sharply as the hand grasped her forearm. It seemed mindful of her bruises and its grip was gentle, yet firm. She didn't fight him. She couldn't. Sigyn was all too aware of the steady gaze firmly fixed upon her wrist. Studying her mark of shame. A sudden rush of humiliation flared within her. It began to burn relentlessly. She averted her gaze away from the livid blue-black blemishes on her pale skin and allowed it to drift higher up to the hand which held her arm gently.

Closing her eyes, Sigyn allowed him to carefully turn her over. She felt the thin material of her shift cling to her slender frame, accentuating its generous curves and fine lines and became acutely aware of the gown's low neckline as it strained against her heaving breasts. As well as the heated gaze which lingered thoughtfully upon them. He froze and she suddenly remembered the bite mark that marred her right breast. Of how viciously - maliciously - Fandral had sunk his teeth into her tender flesh. Intent on bruising her. Causing her pain.

She then recalled how Hogun had worshipped her body on the eve of his visit to Vanaheim. Of how reverent his touch had been. And how she'd burned for him. Unfortunately, the flame which raged within her now was one of humiliation and utter shame.

"I think we should leave," Loki uttered softly, cutting across Sigyn's thoughts. The next thing she heard were voices rumbling in dissent. But Loki wouldn't be swayed in the matter. She promptly herded Sigyn's brother Tyr, along with both Thor and Volstagg out of the room, silently closing the door behind them.

 _ **XXXXX**_

"Sig ... please ... they've all gone; it's just you and me."

She felt the mattress shift once more, heard his footsteps on the oak floorboards and the abrupt sound of the door being bolted shut. Leaving her alone. With him. And completely at his mercy. By the time he'd turned to face her, she was sitting up, staring blankly at her hands. Her long hair shielding her face and her slender frame trembling.

He swiftly closed the gap between himself and the bed, yet the sight of her - pale and vulnerable - just sitting there silently pleading with him, with her slender arms outstretched and her slim, delicate hands, their palms facing upwards as if offering him something, made him freeze. She heard him catch his breath as he looked down and saw what she held out to him. In her hands, lay a braided, leather bracelet. His bracelet. The one he'd painstakingly crafted for her. Something she'd sworn to cherish. To protect. To never remove ...

"Why ... ?" Hogun whispered huskily. He appeared lost. Hurt. And confused by her actions.

"It's yours," Sigyn's voice was equally soft. She hated what she was doing. The pain she was causing him. But to tie him down ... to force him to stay with her would be cruel and she couldn't do that to him. He deserved better.

"I don't ..." Her voice faltered and she hastily moved out of his reach, all the while keeping her hands outstretched, offering him the one thing he was reluctant to accept.

"Sig ..."

"Please. You don't ... want me. Not after he touched me. After he made me ..." She hurriedly looked away. Not wanting to see the hurt and confusion flickering across his face and to stop him from seeing the tears which misted her own eyes.

He stalked over to the fireplace and reached down for a log to throw on the dying flames. The tense muscles of his powerful body flexing beneath snug-fitting leather breeches and thin tunic. He stood up and Sigyn winced at the sound of his head hitting the stone fireplace. And was consumed with regret and guilt. Hating the agony she felt for hurting him.

They remained in silence. And more than anything she wanted to ease the tension away from him. To comfort him. To soothe away his pain and disappointment. Yet she dared not, knowing if she made that gesture, she would give in. That she wouldn't be able to set him free ...

How he reacted next was completely unexpected. He spun around, made short work of the distance between them; grabbing her arms in order to avoid her wrists and dragging her to her feet. The slim, leather thong slipped from her hands to the floor and ignoring her protests and attempts to recover it, he tugged her closer to him. Crushing her slender frame against his far more powerful body. She felt his dexterous hands roam freely over her body. One came to rest possessively on the small of her back; the other cradled her nape, his fingers twisting painfully in her long, tousled locks, tugging her head back and forcing her to meet his inscrutable gaze. She felt fear for a brief instant. Then nothing. His hold upon her was unrelenting. Unbreakable. Hogun claimed her lips and she began to writhe in protest. Struggling for freedom. She gasped and he quickly took advantage of it, forcing his tongue in her mouth. Seeking. Demanding. Insisting on a response from her. And much to his frustration, not getting one.

Bewildered and dismayed, he broke the kiss and Sigyn allowed her stiff body to sag wearily against his hard, sinewy torso. Denying him had used up most of her will power. Had drained her of what little strength she possessed. Lack of sleep had taken its toll and Sigyn's head fell upon his broad shoulder, her long hair cascading over his arm. She felt him suddenly pick her up and despite everything, found herself clinging to him. As if trying to gain some of his strength. His courage. It felt so good to be held by him once more. So good ... He placed her carefully on the bed and reached for the bracelet and studied it pensively.

For a while, she allowed her mind to drift. Became lost in thought. Lost in the depths of his dark eyes. Hogun crouched before her, toying idly with the bracelet, uncertainty branded on his rugged features. He seemed torn. Yet what was the cause of his indecision she couldn't say. Then unexpectedly, a resolved look appeared on his face. It seemed like he had come to a decision. He reached out and fastened the braided leather thong back around her slender wrist.

She panicked and hissed, "What are you doing ? I don't deserve this ... you don't deserve ..." Frantically, she began to claw at his hands in attempt to make him release his hold on the leather thong.

"Do you think I'm so simple minded that I can't decide for myself who I want ?"

Infuriated by his obstinacy, she lashed out without thinking. He hadn't expected her to react so swiftly. Sigyn backhanded him. Hard. And put all of her fury and strength behind the blow. He gave a slight, mirthless laugh and watched her carefully before standing to loom over her, so that he could talk down at her.

"Is that all you have, _svass_ ?" Hogun barked out a laugh that reverberated through his lean, athletic frame. "Come on, Sig ... you can do better than that. Don't tell me your Aesir fire has finally burnt out ..." His cool taunts baited her. And what control she had on her own hot temper snapped.

Her next blow also caught him off-guard. It knocked him backward and off-balance. It didn't take long for Hogun to regain his equilibrium, which was just as well as she silently rained, hard and savage blows to his torso. Ones that would actually hurt later. Sigyn poured everything she felt into them. All of her energy, anger, loathing and pain.

Eventually, the blows became weaker. More half-hearted. She grew weary and her breathing became laboured. She paused and rested her fist on his chest and inhaled deeply. He lowered his head and brushed his lips against her knuckles. Sigyn's eyes immediately fell upon his face and saw a faint, impish grin playing on his lips.

"Now ... let's try this again ..." Hogun gently tilted her chin and kissed her. All the fight had left her and she could not - did not - resist him.

When she finally broke the kiss, she rested her head against his shoulder once more, revelling in the feel of his hand stroking her hair. Soothing her and she was unable to stop the tears from falling.

"Why ?"

"Why what ?"

"Why did you wait before you came to me?"

There, she'd said it. She finally managed to ask him why he'd stayed away from her. She didn't scream or demand an answer. Her voice was soft, yet broken. Full of anguish and sorrow.

"Sigyn ... I ... Because I was afraid, Sig."

She pulled back slightly, her hazel eyes narrowed in disbelief.

"I was afraid of what I'd do to him after I saw you ... I feared my anger would consume me. I was also afraid of you."

Sigyn immediately backed away from him. Clearly confused. _This_ wasn't her strong, brave warrior. Her man didn't fear anything. Especially her. Not _her_ Hogun ... "I ... I don't understand ..." she whispered hesitantly.

She heard him laugh bitterly and he slowly reached out to stroke the delicate skin of her inner wrist.

"I was afraid you'd be disappointed in me. That you'd be ashamed of my actions. That you'd decide you'd been stupid to accept my claim ..." Hogun looked up deliberately to avoid her sharp gaze. "That you'd tell me to go and leave you be because I'd failed you - failed to protect you ... that I failed to defend and care for you."

Seeing those broad shoulders slump in defeat and the way Hogun refused to look at her was like a blow to the gut. The fact that he felt so much agony and guilt over something he could never have prevented was heart-breaking.

"And you'd have every right to ... I'm not ... I don't ..." he continued miserably. Hogun sighed heavily and crossed his arms over the broad expanse of his chest. She hated seeing him like this. Blaming himself for something he wasn't responsible for. Punishing himself for a crime he was entirely innocent of. Sigyn sighed gently and lightly touched his sinewy forearms before wrapping long, slim fingers around them. She heard him exhale raggedly and to her relief, felt him slip his arms around her slender waist. Holding her close. He suddenly looked very tired and all she wanted was to comfort him.

Hogun looked around the room and his gaze fell on the fur-covered bed. "Wait," he murmured, then grabbed a thick fur and threw it on the floor. He sat down and beckoned her to him. Nodding, she approached and willingly allowed him to pull her onto his lap. She wrapped herself around Hogun, nestling trustingly against him with a contented sigh, unable to see the smile on his face, yet fully aware of his cheek resting on the top of her head.

All the tension left her body as she relaxed in his embrace. For the first time since Fandral assaulted her, she felt safe. Felt protected. At ease. She breathed deeply. Evenly. And after a while, her drooping eyelids closed and she was finally able to sleep.

 _ **XXXXX**_

Sigyn suddenly woke up feeling disorientated. And stiff. She'd slept soundly. Dreamlessly. Restfully.

She shifted slightly and her hand came into contact with warm skin and her eyes flew open. Once accustomed to the dim torchlight, she raised her head and looked up. Her lips curved into a soft, gentle smile as she began to recall where she was and who held her.

Hogun slept quietly. His lithe frame enveloping her more fragile body from the hard floor beneath them. He appeared far younger as he slept peacefully and she would have said he looked boyish, as much needed rest smoothed away the lines of worry from his face. Hesitantly, Sigyn raised a hand and carefully swept a thick swathe of onyx hair away from his eyes. Then, unable to resist, she gave in to temptation and gently caressed his cheek. He awoke, instantly alert and raised his own hand to trap hers against his bearded cheek.

Sigyn froze. Unsure if she'd crossed a line between them. Fearing that her innocent caresses had indeed taken liberties. He silently held her gaze and she felt her own cheeks start to burn. Hogun gave a slight smile and turned his head a fraction, his firm, sensual lips grazing the soft, sensitive skin of her palm. Sigyn's breath hitched and she watched him wide-eyed. Curious as to what he'd do next.

After wrapping the thick fur around her scantily clad body, he gently nudged her off his lap and stiffly rose to his feet, before picking her up and carefully depositing her back on the large bed. Sigyn eyed him anxiously, uncertain of what was going through his head. Hogun smiled ruefully and reached over to brush a lock of hair over her slim shoulder.

"'Tis late, _elska_ ..." he rasped, his enigmatic, dark gaze capturing her limpid, hazel eyes. Holding them captive. "I should go ... Let you rest ..." He smiled at her once more, then turned and slowly began to stalk away.

Sigyn panicked. Seeing him about to leave - to walk out of her chamber - terrified her. She felt helpless and deeply saddened by his imminent departure.

" _No_ ! P-Please ... Stay ... Hogun ..." she pleaded huskily. Her sudden movement towards him caused the fur to slide off her smooth, bare shoulder. Something in the tone of her voice made him pause and he slowly turned to face her, his intelligent eyes burning with curiosity. "Please, don't go ... I'd like you t-to stay. I-I need you. Don't leave me, Hogun, I beg of you ... Please ... ? I don't want to be alone ..."

The silence in the room was deafening. Interminable. Nervous hazel eyes tracked the handsome Vanir warrior who seemed unusually hesitant. The calm, decisive man, for once, appeared conflicted. Unsure of his next move. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply as he attempted to regain his composure and it became clear to Sigyn that her beloved was torn. Torn between the regard he felt towards Sigyn's over-protective, older brother, Tyr and the need to respect his wish that Sigyn was given the time she needed to recover from her ordeal and the intense longing to stay with the broken, enchanting woman who'd effortlessly captured and held his heart.

In the end, the Vanir's heart overcame logic and sense and sighing gently, he stripped off his black suede tunic and left it on a large, oak chest beneath the chamber window. Then, with feline grace, he stalked silently across the room towards the bed and slid beneath the furs to lie beside the gentle beauty who unwittingly owned him. Mind. Body. And soul ...

 _ **XXXXX**_

 _Thud. Thud ... Thud. Thud ... Thud. Thud ... Thud. Thud ..._

She ran. As if her life depended on it. In a blind panic and running scared ... There was only one thought in her mind. To seek safety ... and to find it fast. She had no idea where she was going. Only that she had to get away.

All she could hear was the frantic beat of her heart; the roar of adrenaline rushing in her ears and more frightening, the sound of running footsteps closing in on her. Swiftly. She could smell fear. Taste it. Feel it rapidly rising as bile in her throat. Threatening to choke her. She could feel fear tracing its damp, icy touch over her body, making her clothing stick uncomfortably to her and in the way stray tendrils of her chestnut hair clung to her skin as she ran.

Then to her horror, she felt warm breath against her skin and a clammy hand fell upon her slim shoulder. She froze for an instant then, as the hand slowly turned her around, she began to struggle in earnest.

And that's when she suddenly woke up to the sensation of a large, warm hand gently shaking her shoulder and the all too familiar husky growl which she loved ... Sigyn's fearful, hazel eyes immediately met Hogun's which studied her with grave concern.

"It's alright, _svass_. You're safe now. It's just a bad dream ... Won't let anyone hurt you, I swear ..."

"H-Hogu- ?" Still unsure if she'd dreamt he was there beside her, Sigyn reached out a hand to tentatively cradle his bearded cheek and exhaled shakily when she realized that he wasn't a figment of her imagination. That he actually was there. His sleek, powerful, half-naked frame stretched out beside her.

"Shhh ... I'm here ... I'll look after you." Hogun carefully drew her unresisting, trembling frame towards his and felt the tension ease away from her slender form as she nestled instinctively against him. As soon as she felt his warm, hard torso beneath hers she relaxed. Felt safe. Protected.

"I-I'm sorry, Hogun ... You don't deserve this ... You deserve better ... I'm not good enough for you. Not now. Not after-" Sigyn sounded hesitant, the tone of her voice soft and full of regret. Her head rested on his broad chest and she felt his lips brush her temple gently. She heard him sigh and his hand absently stroked her back in an attempt to soothe her.

"You forget the promise I made to you the night I claimed you, _elska_ ... What I said when I gave you this ..." he slid a finger beneath the leather thong around her wrist. "It means you're mine. All I am ... All I possess is yours. And yours alone. You're my other half. My heart and my love. You complete me. Anyone who messes with, disrespects or lays hands on you, messes or disrespects me and in turn, will feel my wrath and make an enemy of me. Remember ... ?"

Not trusting herself to speak, Sigyn gave an imperceptive nod and smiled tremulously at him. Realizing his words were sincere.

"It wasn't an oath made lightly, Sig. When I claimed you, I meant each and every word I said. Still do." Releasing her wrist, Hogun reached out a hand and using his forefinger, gently swept a lock of hair from her eyes. He gazed deeply into them and added quietly, "I intend to hold true to my promise to you ... You're my woman and I won't abandon you over something you had no control over. I'm a man of my word and I'll stand by you ..." The back of his finger slowly trailed down her cheek and across her jaw line and neck, before lightly resting his hand upon her hip.

Silently, she acknowledged his reinforced claim by moving even closer to him and draping her arm around his lean waist. Then resting her head directly over his heart, she muttered, "I still believe you deserve better than me, you daft Vanir oaf ..." Sigyn felt rather than heard the groan build up in his chest and she knew, without even bothering to look at him, that his brow would be furrowed in exasperation by her words. But she couldn't help feeling that she was now unworthy of his claim ... of him.

"And you, my sweet, headstrong, little fool should know by now, I'm more than capable of knowing my own mind ... That I know what, or rather who, I want. And love-"

"Bu-"

He gave a low, impatient and frustrated hiss and his body shifted beneath hers; his hand clamping possessively upon her hip, its heat radiating through the thin material of the shift she wore. "No "buts," woman. I mean it, Sig. Get some rest. I'm going nowhere and I'll still be here when you wake ..."

Sigyn bristled and twisted a thick lock of raven hair around her slim fingers. "What the hell d'ya mean by "woman," hmmm ?" She gave the lock a sharp tug and smirked inwardly when she barely caught a sharp intake of breath from him.

"Well, that's what you are," he growled huskily. "A woman ... _My_ woman ... More importantly, my heart and my love. Never forget it ..."

 _ **FINIS**_


End file.
